The Battle of Philippi

             A few weeks later, from when we were at Sardis, we arrived in Philippi. We met with Antony and Octavius, for which we egged each other on, in a few words. We left each other, construing our plans. Cassius and I will be going our separate ways to meet the enemys different armies. I will be attacking Octavius, while Cassius will be attacking Antony.

This is a small map of which our plans are shown.

            Cassius and I have left each other with smiles, so if one or both of us shall die today, we will have had left each other with smiles and good ill. But I have not told him, if we lose, I will be taking my own life.

           If this happens, Caesar, "I kill'd not thee with half so good a will."

Two Years Later?

             Ah! How long has it been? Has it been about two years after the death of Caesar? Yes, it has. Currently I am in a military camp near Sardis in Asia Minor. Antony and Octavius is after us: Cassius and myself. Cassius, lately, has been a warm friend cooling to me. I'm not sure if he is truly a friend, or was acting it since he needed me a few years ago. He came back to the camp today, saying that I have done him wrong.
          Before any further, I told him to come into my tent, since I do not want our soldiers to see us arguing. He said that I have publicly disgraced Lucius Pella for taking bribes, when he had requested of me to give him leniency.
        I explained to him, and I also complained to him. We made up. And then we argued some  about if we should or should not go and meet the armies of Antony and Octavius. We have came to the conclusion of going to Philippi and meeting them.
       I told him the news of Portia's and Cicero's deaths. He took Portia's rather strongly, and wouldn't let it go, even when I begged him to let it go and speak no more of it. After a while longer, he left to his tent.
       I had Lucius play his instrument for me, but he had fallen asleep from exhaustion. I let him sleep and began to read when I was visited by an old friend. The ghost of Caesar.

       He had told me that I would see him at Philippi. Ah! How unsettling.

      Another night with little sleep.

Caesar's Funeral

            At Caesar's funeral, there were many plebeians and other Romans that had demanded the full explanation of the assassination of Caesar, in which we had did. Cassius had went off with some of the Plebeians in order to part the numbers in a different street. I went ahead into the pulpit and began to speak to the Romans. In the beginning they had been noisy, but once I began they were silent, listening intently to what I spoke.

          Brutus, then, came, with the body of Caesar. And before I left him to his speech, I had offered to kill myself with the same dagger that I had slewed my best lover with, for the good of Rome. They yelled, saying I should live.

          Thus I left Brutus to his speech to the people of Rome.


           After Antony's speech, myself and Cassius had heard word that he have moved the hearts of the people of Rome, and that they are on a rage of fury. Thus Cassius and myself had fled as fast as we can through the gates of Rome.

           O! Is what we are doing, truly for the good of Rome?

After the Death of Caesar

            After the death of Caesar, everyone went away because we sent them away, bidding them to allow us to explain once they calm themselves. They ran, cry out, and flee.

            A servant then comes, bidding words from Antony. He asks to be allowed the explanation of our deeds to him, with the promise of word that we won't strike him down as well. We grant him to come to us, and the servant goes off to fetch him.

           Cassius is still wary of Antony, but I think that he shouldn't. Antony will be a good and loyal friend.

            Antony expresses his worries and doubts. We explain to him slightly. Mostly bidding him to wait and be patient until we have appealed to all of Rome at once. He seems to understand and asks if we will allow him permission to take the body of Caesar and "speak in the order of his funeral."  I have given him permission, though Cassius had bade me to not give consent. To make him somewhat happy, I had told Antony that he would not blame us, and only speak good of Caesar. He would also only speak after I have spoken to the public. He agreed and we had left him to take Caesar's body and prepare it for the ceremony.

The Ides of March--the Capitol

        At the Capitol on the day of the Ides of March, before we went through the gates, the Soothsayer, and even Artemidorus was there, along with the others from the Conspiracy, and those who follows Caesar. They seemed to know that there was something that would go amiss today. Such observing people--dangerous. Thank thee gods that they have not been able to successfully warn Caesar, for his pride was too great to heed their warnings.
         Popilus has even said to Cassius, "I wish your enterprise today may thrive." We feared that our plan was known, but Popilus seems to be on our side, for which he was speaking to Caesar, seeming to be distracting him. Our plan had followed this: Metellus went before Caesar to ask for his brother to be allowed recall from exile. Caesar brushed it off. Then myself knelt before him, still he had refused. Then Cassius, Cinna, Decius, and Casca knelt, but still to no avail.
        Casca had then gave the signal, and was the first to stab Caesar. Everyone gave a stab, and I, lastly.

                            "Et tu, Brute?--Then fall Caesar."
          These words were the last ones that has crossed the lips of Caesar. I fear that these words would forever haunt me for the rest of my mortal life.

The Ides of March

We went to Caesar's to fetch him to the Capitol, he was not as of yet ready to leave. He bid us to come in and enjoy some wine with him so that we "will straightaway go together."

       "That every like is not the same, O Caesar,/ The heart of Brutus earns to think upon." This is what I mumbled to myself. This whole ordeal makes me 'think that not everyone who appears to be a friend might not be an actual real friend'.

        Is this really the right and good thing to do for the good of Rome? I am still uncertain.

         O! How this hurts my heart.

Portia and Another Visitor

As soon as Cassius and his fellows from the Conspiracy left me, Portia came out into the Garden. I remember thinking, and saying, that she shouldn't be exposed to the raw cold of the morning in her condition. She said that I had been impatient, worried, mulling over something, sighing, musing, and with my arms across ever since yesternight. She had tried to ask me what my matter was, but I had ungently waved her away when she continued to press me. This is what she said about me from yesternight. I brushed it off, saying that 'i am not well in health, and that is all'.

     She countered this, saying that if I was sick, I would be wise enough to say I was and "embrace the means to come by it." I told her to go to bed, But she stayed. She had guessed that my illness was not of physical, but of a "sick offense within [my] mind." She knelt at my feet begging for me to tell her, in which I told her to stand.

    She then had said that even if she's a woman, she is strong enough to hear, and keep, this secret of mine. She then shows me a stab wound in her thigh, in which she intentionally cut to show her strong determination before she approached me.

        "O ye gods!/ Render me worthy of this noble wife!"

          When she had left me, I had another visitor--Caius Ligarius! We spoke awhile, then, when the sky become dark with rain and thunder began to burst, we went inside to talk some more.

Vistors in the Night

It is currently the day before the Ides of March--March 14th. I can't sleep at all, so earlier I was in my garden, and I had woken up Lucius.When he came I had asked him, my boy servant, to light a taper in my study, he came back with letters from many different hand-writings. And none of them were signed. They were written in general information, so I had to piece it out.
       A while after someone came to visit in the dead of night. The dead of night, close to morn! Oh! What a slight surprise. Who could it be? Ah! No one but Cassius and his fellows in the Conspiracy against Caesar.
      I shook all of their hands, deciding to join them, by the letters I have just received through the window of my study. We have decided to assassinate Caesar at the Senate tomorrow--before they award him the crown of Rome.

     Cassius had wanted to also kill Antony, since he is very loyal to Caesar. I had stopped him though, since all Antony is, is not a threat to us. He is all but Caesar's limbs when Caesar's head is severed--he is of no important threat. There is no need to kill others as well as Caesar. I do not think that Antony 'would take thought and die for Caesar'. Trebonius said, "There is no fear in him", which I believe to be true.

     The morning had came upon us, and that is when they took their leave in the same fashion, in which they came to me.

Shouts

       The other day, when Caesar came back to Rome, Cassius and I were talking. He started to say things that I have somewhat felt in my own breast--heart. While we were talking, the crowd, who were off somewhere close watching Antony run in the race, started to shout. This led me to unknowingly state my fear: that the people of Rome will choose Caesar to be their king. I fear that the man, whom I love as my own brother, will be chosen to be Rome's king and him bringing it to its' own abrupt downfall.

        Cassius seems to agree, to a point. Though he seems to say something, and then contradict it. I don't know. He told me of a story of when Caesar and him went swimming in the Tiber River. He said that Caesar asked him to swim it with him, across. So he did, but before they could reach the other side, Caesar yelled, "Help me, Cassius, or I sink!" Cassius, of course, went back for him.


        Another time, Cassius said, was when the great Caesar had a fever while in Spain. Cassius remembered how Caesar was shaking, groaning, and asked for a drink from Titinius; comparing him to a sick girl.



         While we were talking, there were three general shouts coming from the area in which the races were being held. When it was done, they all came back. We motioned Casca to the side, asking him what had occurred to be so noteworthy.
         He said that Antony had offered Caesar the crown the first time, but he put it by with the back of his hand.
        The second time, he put it by again. Lastly, the third time, he put it by once again, but seemed "he would fain have had it"--I slightly quote Casca.
        Caca also said that after the third time refusing the coronet, Caesar had fallen, having another fit of his falling down sickness.

       After Casca had left us, Cassius had asked me to think about he had said, and the current state of affairs.
     I am very uncertain about this. I have little idea of what would be the best for the great Rome.

     I must sleep upon these thoughts, and so, again I leave you, my friends.

The Begining of Something?

Earlier today, Caesar came back to Rome from another battle and successfully triumphed in it. The town and streets of Rome were covered with fanfare and decorations and such things. These decorations are for people who have brought tributes and captives home to Rome. Not a man who have done almost nothing.
In honor for the feast of Lupercal, and of course, Caesar, they held a race, in which Antony were to run in it. Caesar asked him, as a friend-to-friend favor, that when he passed his wife, to strike her with a leather thong since he wanted an heir to succeed his bloodline. This makes me somewhat repulsed, and wanting to know if it really is Portia who is infertile.
 None the less, Antony complied enthusiastically and willingly. While they went off to watch the race, Cassius and myself stayed behind and started to talk. He asked me what was wrong--if I was mad at him. Of course I am not, though, and I am sincerely sorry for leading him to believe that I was indeed mad at him, when I actually was not. I am grieved to say that I have been vexed currently from conflicting emotions that I continue to turn around in my head and they always turn toward myself.

I will continue when I have more time, as well as more privacy to write.
Until then, my fellow friends,
                         Brutus.